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  • Writer's pictureShane

The Difference Between Moms and Dads

Disclaimer: If this offends you, lighten up! I am well aware this is not accurate in all cases. Heck, that's not even the point of this thing. It's just light hearted satire... so there.


Mom: the one who went through nine long months of pain and misery to give birth to us.


Dad: the one who didn't, but still gets half the credit.


Mom: the one who held us, fed us and changed our diapers.


Dad: the one who held, us fed us and then gave us back to Mom.


Mom: the one who woke up in the middle of the night, calmed us down and stayed with us until we were asleep.


Dad: the other one that woke up.


Mom: the one who took us for peaceful walks in our strollers.


Dad: the one who popped wheelies.


Mom: the one who bathed us when we needed to be bathed.


Dad: the one bought the washcloths.


Mom: the one who washed our clothes.


Dad: the one who helped us get them dirty.


Mom: the one who tucked us into bed.


Dad: the one who was already in his.


Mom: the one who washed dishes her whole life.


Dad: the one who mowed the lawn until we were old enough to do it.


Mom: the one who told us not to fight.


Dad: the one who told us not to fight in the house.


Mom: the one that told us to dream big dreams.


Dad: the one that told us we forget 90% of our dreams when we wake up.


Mom: the one that waited up for us.


Dad: the one that waited up for us if there was a game on.


Mom: the one who would always give us money.


Dad: the one that would give us money on special occasions and when we found his loose change under the cushions.


Mom: the one who cooked us dinner.


Dad: the one that ordered pizza.


Mom: the one that taught us not to waste our time.


Dad: the one that taught us how to throw a spiral.


Mom: the one that laughed at our jokes.


Dad: the one that laughed at his.


Mom: the one that comforted us when we were crying.


Dad: the reason we were crying in the first place.

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